On Notice!:
First up, The Sci-Fi Channel. You're on notice, mister! And no, not because of the never ending stream of brilliant *sarcasm* movies like "Mansquito" and "Swarmed"-- but for cancelling my favorite sci-fi show--the greatest show on earth-- Stargate SG-1. Change your mind, sci-fi, or you're dead to me.
Next, Spiders with red designs on their back. I'll never forget my encounter with you in that portapotty. You are permanantly on notice!
Publix Brand Yogurt, you too, are on notice. You KNOW the Cherry with Chocolate Pieces is infinitely better than the Strawberry with Chocolate Pieces-- yet you discontinue the cherry. Why, Publix? Why?
Planet Uranus, 7th planet from the sun, you are on notice. No matter which way your name is pronounced, it's a joke.
Heathcliff, definately 'on notice'! Why must you sit outside my room and meow all night long? And of course you get Hartman all wound up and she starts ramming the sliding glass door. At 3pm:funny. At 3am:on notice.
TIVO! You are sooo 'on notice'. How could you not keep 'The Daily Show' and our hero at 'The Colbert Report' in the recently deleted folder a little bit longer? And why did you delete them to record some reality cooking show? You know if I cook in reality my house would burn to the ground. Or is that your plan, TIVO? Hmm?
Death Cab For Cutie, I thought you would become one of my favorites when I heard "I Will Follow You Into The Dark". Then I heard "Soul Meets Body". Yeah. On notice.
And Finally, Canned Green Beans: Why do you taste so bad in a can, yet so delicious fresh? Change your ways canned green beans! 'On notice'!